Commuter Couture

Yesterday, on the bus ride home I sat next to a guy that looked like a member of Right Said Fred ["I'm too Sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it huuuurrts.] He had the bald head and gold hoop earring and a tattoo of a lotus flower (I’m guessing ) on his wrist. It was partially obscured by the cuff of his shirt, so it looked like a muddled chrysanthemum. Not very sexy. Not at all Fred.

Right Said Fred was sitting alll the way forward on his seat, like he was waiting for the coach to send him in to pinch hit. I just wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shove him back in his seat. Where did he think he was going? But then it became clear that he was whispering into the ear of the guy in the seat in front of him. So I had to be a big fan. Because, there's nothing sexier on the bus than whispering. Way to go Fred. [I wish more people were too sexy to chat, to sexy to chat, oh chatty cathy, whatcha think about that?]

The bus is a great place to people watch. Never a dull moment, for sure. You have these people who are very, very finely dressed. Put together in pinstripes, cuff links and tasteful hint of cologne. And then you take in the ... the.... Land's End Mocks. The 10-year-old Reeboks. The ~GASP~ worn-to-the-cork-nubbin- Birkenstocks with black socks. Oh the humanity.

In the morning, it's not out of the ordinary to see a woman putting the finishing touches on her makeup. In most cases, it's analogous to adding a sprig of parsley to a dish before sending it out of the kitchen. But one woman, and really - I'm impressed here - brings a whole tackle box full of make up each day. It's truly amazing. She puts on several different layers, much like an artist priming a canvas. Just watching her balance everything on her lap, hold her 45 record-sized mirror and apply the make up is like watching the Cirque de Soliel. But to have to carry all that crap around with you everyday seems silly. Wake up an extra 15 minutes early, sister. One of these days the bus is going to jolt forward, the Clinique is going to surge into the other seats and we're all going to emerge from the bus looking like trampy Tammy Faye Bakers.